we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
