she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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