so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
