Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
