I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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