seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
