so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
