I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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