It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
