Little spoons don't ask big questions
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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