I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
