all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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