She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
