Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
