FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
