I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
