I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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