her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
