There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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