check it out our google latitudes are spooning
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
