we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
