That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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