So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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