My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
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