oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
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