People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
