I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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