Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
