awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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