break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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