When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
