I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
