No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
