AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
