If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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