people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
