What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
