I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
