He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
