I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
