i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
it's great music for shaving your balls
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
