Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Randomize
