Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
