somebody snuck up and got me drunk
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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