I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
