well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
