isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
