Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
