everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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