We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
