Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
