You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
