Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
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