I'm lost and stupid without you.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
